Recent Storm (of speedhackers) in San Paro.

Recent Storm (of speedhackers) in San Paro.

Recently, a wave of immigrants have hit San Paro (jericho) and the effects are quite frightening. Despite the few bad apples that existed prior, murder rates have soared through the roof. They seem to have augmentations that help them aim incredibly accurate and run at super human speeds. Concerned citizens have voiced their opinion and have questioned the city’s lack of action regarding these foreign criminals.

These new arrivals were spotted around the middle of September 2016 and they have a few distinguishable traits that help identify them:

  • They run around inhumanly fast. Imagine a child all jacked up on Mountain Dew®.
  • They are highly trained killers who utilize unorthodox methods. For example, instead of aiming at their targets, they aim in the opposite direction and still manage to hit you.
  • They have trouble with ladders. They can run faster than Usain Bolt but there’s something kryptonity about ladders.
  • They speak…differently. You might seem them type out random numbers and letters in /district chat.
“allo :0 th er at no chet chet kthx – a signature mating call”

The city officials have not stepped out of their administrative buildings with their recent official statements only regarding the mysterious heavy traffic and gridlock that plagued the city the past few weeks. Other cities have reported the same mysterious heavy traffic on their roads, although no one knows for certain if this was just a coincidence.

On a serious note, some mods on the forum simply recommend using the /report “playername” function for any suspected cheaters.

Stay safe out there citizens.